The Wal

So, I went to "The Wal" yesterday. Dane Cook fans will know. In fact, I'm gonna tell you the end of the story first. Then I'm gonna Tarantino it and start from the beginning.

So here it is.

"I just wanna shoot them in the face."

And BAM!
We're back at the beginning.

So, I go to the Wal, others might know it as Walgreens. And right as I walk in, out of my "perif", I spot the exact place that I need to go. However, for some reason, I decided to take a little stroll through the store. It's just way more exciting to walk in very long strides around the store, going up every isle, turning and tilting my head and muttering things to myself. It feels very Jack-Bauer-esq. So finally I make it around to where my products are. In this case, it was some deodorant and shaving cream. So I went up to the counter to pay for my merch and this cute girl greeted me and I replied with a greeting.

Then I pull out the card.

Now, many business establishments have different methods for running cards. At some stores, the cashier runs your card through for you. Others use the carbon paper stamp thing that bends the shit out of your card. But most places have the "self-service" card maching if you will.
The general method is to first slide your card down the slit, then select credit/debit, and generally select "yes" or "OK" to verify the amount of purchase.

I slide the card. Immediately I come to a decision that I've made many a time. Credit...or Debit? It could have been the heat, it could have been the gaze from the attractive cashier, it could have been the egg salad sandwich I had eaten prior to making the journey to the walgreens, but I CRUMBLED under the pressure. I closed my eyes and picked one at random. I immediately realized my mistake, but I had already committed. I then pushed a completely random combination of buttons that led me to the "enter-your-pin" screen. Through the confusion I said the words I never in my life would have imagined me saying, and I wanted to be sick. I said...."god, all these machines are different."

The feeling of remorse and self hatred fuming from me was palpable. In fact, I heard the lady behind me smack her lips and say "that is palpable, that man is really pissed at himself"

I began to explain to the cashier the full extent of my anger.

I used to work at a grocery store as a cashier. For 2 years, every day, every hour, every minute, I would have a customer come through and say "all these machine are different". And each time I heard it, a part of me died. Its the part of me that stops myself from reaching over the counter and grabbing the customer by their big fat head, and breaking their neck.

Anyway, to wrap it up. I told the clerk about my past, and then "I just wanna shoot them in the face"

I told a complete stranger that I wanted to discharge a fire arm in the direction of someones cranium.

Needless to say, I probably won't be getting a second date.

Or a first for that matter.

Good game me.

My blog sucks

Another step down the Path to Righteousness is to admit that my blog...
indeed...
sucks.

that is all

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Concert Etiquette - Part 1

In this multi-part series, I am going to analyze modern day "Concert Etiquette".

What is Concert Etiquette? - It is the normal, accepted, and expected behavior of an individual at a concert. In this case, I am speaking specifically of rock concerts.

In this episode, I'll be discussing the issue of...

Sitting vs. Standing

For modern day concerts, the obvious answer is Standing. There are a number of reasons. You can't really feel the music if you're on your ass. Likewise, if you want to sit on your ass and listen to music, a fantastic place is your home or car. Sitting is allowed at rock concerts should you need a break to rest your feet or relax during a slow song. But under no circumstance should one sit during the full length of a rock concert.

The rules for sitting at a concert can bend slightly should one be located in lawn seating. In the lawn case, it's really up to the people at the front of the lawn to decide if the rest of the lawn can sit or must stand. Should the front lawn people sit, then the rest of the lawn can enjoy their blankets and chairs. But if they stand, like they should, the rest of the lawn must stand.


The characteristics of the concert I'm describing above are as follows
-10,000 or more fans in attendance
-Location - large indoor arena or large outdoor pavilion
-ticket price >or= $20

If you find yourself in a small theater with 1000 people, feel free to sit the whole show.

Basically this is me venting a little about a concert I went to a short while ago where I chose to stand and 50% of the people around me chose to sit. The sitters chose to haggle the standers in an attempt to get them to sit. After an hour of the show, i was the only stander. I was standing up for the rights of standers everywhere. I stood the whole show because thats proper etiquette.

Basically, If it's a big show, your ass does not need a seat. And if you haggle someone to sit, you should be thrown out.

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Boredom Leads to Obsession

Simply statement, but it could not be any more true. On this fine Wednesday evening, I spent a large amount of time attempting to customize my Windows XP theme. After shuffling through dozens of themes and wall-papers, I've finally decided what I want; and won't stop until I'm either dead or have succeeded.

I want : a CTU (Counter Terrorist Unit) theme from 24.
Attaining this is proving to be an impossible feat.

I played around with Photoshop for an hour and came up with this desktop backgroung.

Ezekiel 25:17

Another true B.A.

Big Sunglasses

Recently I've changed. Some may consider it a minute [mahy-noot] ,(this pronunciation reminder is not only for clarification, but also so I won't look back and continuously say "I misspelled minute") , on par with changing brands of deodorant or going from high-tops to loafers.
I first saw these exact sunglasses on the most bad-ass guy around: Jack Bauer. Naturally, you now think my change is solely based on a shallow attempt to mimic a true B.A. And, you could not be more correct. However, they've grown on me.
Upon first trying my new Serengeti Aviators on, I couldn't help but think that I looked like something out of The Fly. The lenses cover a hefty portion of my face. However, I can drive directly into the sun with eyes fully open.
Yesterday I tried out the old school Rayban Predator 2's and found that their sleek design and small face coverage was not for me. Now I parade around in giant sunglasses.
This post is my attempt to justify me wearing Aviator sunglasses. Some people have already commented on them. I could be honest and say "I really like their comfort and protection", but they would think I was talking about condoms. Instead I take the easy way and say "Jack Bauer wears these"

n.c.

First Blog...

I feel the need to say a lot of things. First: I'm embarking on the cultural web-based journey of "blogging". I've always thought of it as an annoying word. But I feel invigorated that I now have a place to write the most fluffed up literature conceivable.

Anyway...

I am going to dedicate this blog to an attempt to make all of my readers switch to the BEST INTERNET WEB BROWSER EVER. Of course, fellow users will know that I am referring to Mozilla Firefox.

Firefox provides a stylish, streamlined, and utilitarian approach to the web without the security flaws and annoyances of Internet Explorer. The greatest thing about Firefox is its... (Prepare yourself; I am making a word up)...customizability?

Currently I'm running about a dozen addons; each of them are lightweight enough to allow lightning fast surfing, while at the same time giving maximum functionality. There are plugins designed for every application imaginable: email, web design, blogging, syncing favorite websites, RSS, bookmarking, syncing popular applications, and tons of customizable toolbars to boot. Along with the amazing functionality, are the hundreds of user submitted graphical themes. All these aspects combine to make the most customizable and multi-functional web browser out there.

I really recommend you try it out.